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A ‘translation utility’ for women, so [‘ewe’] know what your man *really* means when he says …

i C U

“I’m going fishing.”
Really means: “Ewe’ are  going to stand by a stream with a pole in your hand all day, eat all the snacks when ‘ewe’ want…..while the fish swim by in complete safety.”

“It’s a guy thing.”
Really means: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and ‘ewe’  have no chance at all of making it logical.”

“Can I help with dinner?”
Really means: ‘ewe’ thinking what I am thinking? there has been plenty of hours in the day—“Why isn’t it already on the table?”

“Uh-huh.” “Sure, honey.” “Yes, dear.”
Really means: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.


“It would take me too long to explain.”
Really means: “”Ewe”  have no idea how it really works.”

“We’re going to be late, ‘ewe’ ready yet.”
Really means: “Now ‘ewe’ have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.”

“Take a break, honey, ‘ewe’ R just working too hard.”
Really means: “”Ewe”  can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”

“ Yeah…That’s interesting, dear.”
Really means: “Did ‘ewe’ say something?”

“Hey, ‘ewe’ got your reasons for what ‘ewe’ are doing.”
Really means: “And ‘ewe’ sure ‘ewe’-ll think of some of them pretty soon.”

“its here somewhere,  but I  can’t find it.”
Really means: “Ewe” right it didn’t fall into your outstretched hands.”


“Ewe”  know I could never love anyone else.”
Really means: “I am used to the way ‘ewe’ yell at me and realize it could be worse.”

“Ewe” look terrific.”
Really means: “Please don’t try on one more outfit, ‘ewe’ know that I am starving.”

“We are not lost…I know exactly where we are.”
Really means: “No one will ever see ‘ewe’ alive again.”

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revised christmas card…

[Christmas –2013]


             Twas a month  before Christmas

When all through our land, 


             Not a Christian was praying           

             Nor taking a stand.


             Why the PC Police had taken away

The reason for Christmas – no one could say.           


             The children were told by their schools not to sing                        

             About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.           


             It might hurt people’s feelings, the teachers would say             

             December 25th is just a ‘Holiday.’


             Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit                        

             Pushing folks down to the floor just to get  it!           


             CDs from Madonna, an X-BOX, an iPod             

             Something was changing, something quite odd!           


             Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa       

             In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.


             As Targets were hanging their trees upside down           

At Lowe’s the word Christmas – was no where to be found.           


             At K-Mart and Staples and Penny’s and Sears           

You won’t hear the word Christmas; it won’t touch your ears.           


             Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty             

             Are words that were used to intimidate me.           


             Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen             

             On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!


             At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter             

             To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.           


             And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith             

             Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace


             The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded           

The reason for the season, stopped before it started.                        


             So as you celebrate ‘Winter Break’ under your ‘Dream Tree’                    

             Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.           


             Choose your words carefully, choose what you say.      

             Shout M E R R Y  C H R I S T M A S ,

not Happy Holiday! 


             Please,  all Christians join together and

wish everyone you meet …


             M E R R Y  C H R I S T M A S !          

             Christ is The Reason for the Christ-mas Season!

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am I in the shadow of HIS wings

“Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast ………….”  [Psalms 57:1-11]


”The inscription of this psalm locates it at the time when David hid from Saul in the cave. The psalm divides into two main sections—the first being prayer: and the second praise. In the first part of the psalm, he is deep in the cave, and then he comes to the mouth of the cave and stands in the sunlight. He begins with a repeated cry for mercy. He does not hide in the cave alone, but under the shadow of God’s wings. David cries out, and does so in complete faith. God is the one who performs “all things.” He shows his confidence, knowing that God will send deliverance from heaven. God sends forth salvation, mercy, and truth.

inside cave

The devil has sharp teeth, as also his servants. Whatever happens, David wants God to be exalted and glorified. Caught in a trap, David prays that God be glorified above heaven and earth. David mentions the trap prepared for him, and declares that he knows that his adversaries will fall in it themselves. Saul pursued David, but David managed—more than once—to catch Saul.roaring lion

The prayer is offered, and David knows it is heard. He turns at this point in the psalm to praise the Lord. Where does his praise begin? He says “my heart is fixed”. That is where praise begins. What is necessary to praise God rightly? Three times David exhorts himself to wake up . David resolves not to limit his praise service to the back of the save, but rather to sing among all nations, a thing which he has successfully done. His mercy is great, and his truth ascends to the sky. Our praise of Him should do its level best to match that.

[————-is my heart “fixed” upon HIM?—————-]

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thanksgiving jokes…[if you read last years? its the same]

Q: if pilgrims were alive today, what would they say?
A: do not resuscitate

Q: what do yo call the age of a pilgrim?
A: pil-grimage

Q: what kind of cars would pilgrims drive today?
A: plymouth

Q: what kind of tan did pilgrims get at a the beach?
A: puritan

Q: what kind of face does a pilgrim make when he’s in pain
A: pil-grimace

the word


Q: what’s the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook?
A: pil-gram

Q: what do you call a pilgrims “vocabulary”
A: pil-grammar

Q: why did the pilgrims eat turkey at thanksgiving?
A: because they couldnt get the moose in the oven

Q: why do pilgrims pants keep falling down?
A: because their belt buckles are on there hats

Q: if april showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?
A: pilgirms & furniture

Q: where did the first corn come from?
A: the stalk brought it

Q: rich people eat what on thanksgiving?
A: 14 karats (carrots)
Q: what was the turkey suspected of?
A: fowl play

Q: why did the turkey get to join the band/orchestra?
A: because he already had some drumsticks

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I come to the garden alone…

How To Plant Your Garden

First, you Come to the garden alone,
while the dew is still on the roses….


garden 2

1. Peace of mind
2. Peace of heart
3. Peace of soul 


garden 31. Squash gossip
               2. Squash indifference 
                3. Squash grumbling 
                    4. Squash selfishness


garden 4

1. Lettuce be faithful

2. Lettuce be kind

            3. Lettuce be patient 
4. Lettuce really love one another


garden 5
1. Turnip for meetings 

  2. Turnip for service
3. Turnip to help one another


garden 6

1. Thyme for each other 
        2. Thyme for family 
                        3. Thyme for friends


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passin the pumpkin

pumpkin mice

Being a human being is like being a pumpkin. God lifts you up,
takes you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. He opens you
up, touches you deep inside and scoops out all the yucky stuff–
including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc. Then He carves
you a new smiling face and puts His light inside you to shine for
all the world to see. This was passed on to me from another pumpkin.

passin the pumpkin

Now, it’s your turn to pass it to a pumpkin. I liked this enough
to send it to all the pumpkins in my patch. Happy Fall!

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the buzzard, the bat & the bee


If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet by 8 feet and is entirely open at the top,

the bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will be an absolute prisoner.

The reason is that a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground with a run of 10 to 12 feet.

Without space to run, as is its habit, it will not even attempt to fly,

but will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top.


    *****THE BAT*****


The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkable nimble creature in the air,

cannot take off from a level place.

If it is placed on the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and,

no doubt, painfully, until it reaches some slight elevation from which it can throw itself into the  air.

Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.




  A bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler, will be there until it dies, unless it is taken out.

It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom.

It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely destroys itself.




 In many ways, we are like the buzzard, the bat, and the bumblebee.

We struggle about with all our problems and frustrations, never realizing that all we have to do is look up!

That’s the answer, the  escape route and the solution to any problem…

just look up! 

baby looking up

———– Sorrow looks  back,————-

Worry looks  around,

But faith looks  up!

Live  simply,

love  generously,

care  deeply,

speak kindly,  and

trust in our Creator,

who loves  us.


Share this with a  friend… I just did.

God  Bless You

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