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‘ewe’-isms

A ‘translation utility’ for women, so [‘ewe’] know what your man *really* means when he says …

i C U

“I’m going fishing.”
Really means: “Ewe’ are  going to stand by a stream with a pole in your hand all day, eat all the snacks when ‘ewe’ want…..while the fish swim by in complete safety.”

“It’s a guy thing.”
Really means: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and ‘ewe’  have no chance at all of making it logical.”

“Can I help with dinner?”
Really means: ‘ewe’ thinking what I am thinking? there has been plenty of hours in the day—“Why isn’t it already on the table?”

“Uh-huh.” “Sure, honey.” “Yes, dear.”
Really means: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

being PATIENT

“It would take me too long to explain.”
Really means: “”Ewe”  have no idea how it really works.”

“We’re going to be late, ‘ewe’ ready yet.”
Really means: “Now ‘ewe’ have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.”

“Take a break, honey, ‘ewe’ R just working too hard.”
Really means: “”Ewe”  can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”

“ Yeah…That’s interesting, dear.”
Really means: “Did ‘ewe’ say something?”

“Hey, ‘ewe’ got your reasons for what ‘ewe’ are doing.”
Really means: “And ‘ewe’ sure ‘ewe’-ll think of some of them pretty soon.”

“its here somewhere,  but I  can’t find it.”
Really means: “Ewe” right it didn’t fall into your outstretched hands.”

somtimz

“Ewe”  know I could never love anyone else.”
Really means: “I am used to the way ‘ewe’ yell at me and realize it could be worse.”

“Ewe” look terrific.”
Really means: “Please don’t try on one more outfit, ‘ewe’ know that I am starving.”

“We are not lost…I know exactly where we are.”
Really means: “No one will ever see ‘ewe’ alive again.”

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